Thoughts and Musings

·  Introduction: In this section there are some papers and stories written by Dr. Kneier from 2003 onward. These writings present some of Dr. Kneier's articles and papers about a variety of issues he deals with. You will find here some insights about the therapeutic process; some metaphors, analogies and stories that describe aspects of our psychological worlds; some theories about children and divorce; and some ideas about common life crises and problems.



Dr. Gary Kneier


·  Contents: Below is an annotated list of the writings currently contained in this section. Each separate paper may be opened by clicking a link below. While you are free to print these writings for your own personal use, they are the property of Dr. Kneier and cannot be further published without his written permission.


    1. Approaching Problems as Psychological Symptoms  Describes the surprising nature of our common problems and how to approach them in very helpful ways.
    2. Children's Difficulty with Divorce. Gives a feeling for what children experience in a conflicted divorce. Sets the stage for the next four sections about transfer reactions, switching, and splitting (parental alienation).
    3. Childrens 3 Basic Reactions to Conflicted Divorce  Describes children�s transfer reactions, switching reactions, and splitting (parental alienation) reactions.  Shows how these reactions amplify parental conflict.  Describes how parents can help the children and thus reduce parental conflict.
    4. Little Mary, the Switcher. A story about how children ages 5 to 10 tend to cope with a conflicted divorce, and how their reactions tend to increase parental conflict.
    5. Transfer Reactions: Tommy and the Radar. A story about how children ages 1 to 5 sometimes react to sudden or conflicted divorces.
    6. Refusal of Access, Splitting, Parental Alienation  A major essay about the nature, causes, and treatment of this adolescent reaction to conflicted divorce.  Three of the eight sections in this paper can be viewed and printed as individual papers.

6A.  Treatment Approaches for Splitting or Parental Alienation  An in depth discussion about treating and managing adolescents� parental alienation reactions.

6B.  The Dangers of Choice in Alienation Reactions  Explains how approaching parental alienation as a choice made by the child is very dangerous to the long-term welfare of the child.

6C.  Common Child Issues That Also Affect Alienation Reactions  Describes many common challenges and issues in adolescents that can add to an alienation reaction.  This paper is also useful for understanding some of the problems and reactions of non-alienated adolescents.

    1. How the Courts Might Help with Alienation Reactions  Gives a summary of the nature and causes of parental alienation reactions for judges and parents, then discusses ways the Court might help with the problem.  All four of the sections of this paper can be viewed and printed as individual papers.

7A.  Summary of Parental Alienation for Judges or Parents 

7B.  Getting a Lawyer for the Child  Discusses why this usually is not a helpful approach, because it tends to further empower the child and focus on the child�s apparent choice.

7C.  Guidelines for Judges Talking to Alienated Children

7D  How Judges and Therapists Might Work Together

    1. Delivering Parenting in Divorced Families. A discussion of various child-sharing regimes and the associated psychological issues for children.
    2. The Importance of Fathers. With the importance of mothers being well known and obvious, this paper presents recent findings about the similar importance of involved fathering for children. The paper is basically a book report of Dr. Kyle Pruett�s wonderful book, Fatherneed: Why Father Care Is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child.
    3. Hello and Goodbye. Describes briefly why marriage counseling and mediation are very different processes.